Surprisingly, I wasn't insulted. It's true. I work out 10-15 hours a week. I swim, bike, run, lift weights, do yoga... not to mention the walking, stair climbing, lifting, and squatting I do at work 5 days a week. As most of us know, losing weight is 80% what you eat. So why aren't I smaller?
Honestly, I am an emotional eater. When I am stressed, sad, or happy, I want to eat cookies. Most of the time its cookies, but sometimes it is semi-sweet chocolate chips, ice cream, or M&M's. This is something I have done since I was a child.
I have struggled with this behavior my whole life. I do have more control of it now since I have been working on it, but it's been difficult lately. The first part of the year, I focused on getting stronger and faster. But, I want to enjoy this training -- and I want to work on my whole self.
I have decided to do something very difficult -- and it scares me, because I am not sure I can succeed. I have decided to give up chocolate chip cookies (and ice cream, chocolate chips, M&Ms) until Ironman. I just read this sentence and it sounds absolutely ridiculous, but I know to other people who are emotional eaters you will understand. You will understand that this decision is a choice to make myself a healthier person and force myself to be willing to be vulnerable, pay attention to my feelings/emotions, and manage them better.
This scares me, a lot. Desserts are my crutch. I am scared of failing (and I have before), but yet I am going to dare greatly. I want to prove to myself that I am strong enough to deal with situations in a healthier way.
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, and comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat. -Theodore Roosevelt
We have 130 days until Ironman. I have 130 days to focus on crossing that finish line -- a healthier, stronger and happier person. I just re-read my: Why I want to be an Ironman post. I said:
"Being the best person I can be means a lot to me. You have to be mentally strong to train and complete these races. You can't put yourself down or focus on negative thoughts. You have to be healthy in every aspect -- physically and mentally. That includes reducing anxiety and stress, eating healthy, and treating yourself well.
To me, becoming an Ironman is the cherry on top of my 31 year journey. It demonstrates the progress I have made to become a better version of ME. It shows me that even though I can't ever be perfect -- I am still a strong, beautiful, driven person who can accomplish anything I put my mind to."
